BY JOSELINE BYAKATONDA
So much research, writing and development programs have been dedicated to the girl child, less for the boy child. While discussions about gender equality, more so, around the girl child are crucial, the boy child equally- for lack of a better word, plays an important role in shaping the world; a substantial reason to understand and support their development, rights, and growth.
The world may neglect but “we”- Christians, cannot afford to neglect the boy child because then, we will be denying the very basic of our belief: “God created them male and female,” each with a purpose to fulfill and the man being the head or core leader. Have you noticed how the head is the only body part with all the five senses: hearing, sight, smell, touch and taste? Using nature already denotes how the boy-to-be man is important. A man is not just the physic but attitude, composure, way of articulating information and ability to support and protect others. Just like the head anchors the body, so does a man anchor society. That’s why the massive empowerment of the girl child while giving cramps to the boy child formation will only retard progress because the girl child is not an island. Hence, will continue interfacing with the ungroomed boy or man depending on the point of interaction. Yet, no parent would like their daughter to marry an ungroomed man and no vocation would give a lee-way to such a one.
By destiny, a boy child’s “DNA” carries more responsibility, both physically and spiritually, a fact to be reckoned with. Though they may be perceived beneficiaries of the patriarchal system, oftentimes, they are subjected to harsh cultural practices and initiations to adulthood, which bear negative effects, considering the harshness and crude way in which they are done. In the long run, the trauma and pain boys-men go through is transferred to the women and children they lead, domestic violence being a symptom and fruit of such.
A boy child is known for not sharing their problems, hence suffer in silence most of their lives. This bottling up turns them into bitter persons in society for no matter how long it lasts, the heart has to let out what’s inside by force. The cultural intonation of regarding men as weaklings when they seek help nurtures a self-distractive attitude, detrimental to the development of the boy child who incidentally is the radar of society. If the boy child is well supported, the girl child will be protected and majority of her mischiefs curbed. The first step is to create a platform or forum for the boy child to express himself, starting with the home.
Oftentimes, the challenges of girls are easily detected in homes while the boys die internally. Their needs are often not material but more of the mind: what they are thinking, how they are horning their future and many others. The lack of a safe space like this can lead to addictions. Many have been debased and abused.
Scheduling an evening every week during this long holiday to simply converse with the boy child in your home is a dynamite. The meeting should not have an agenda but simply flow from them. Setting an agenda communicates a wrong signal of interrogation or spying, triggering the flight mode of their mind, hence may be present physically but guarded. Create work-together sessions, talk during car trips and go beyond the yes or no answers. Talk with them, not at them. Show interest in what they say and avoid over-correction or guidance.
The boy child also looks to the men figure to model how the male gender is to live and relate with the rest of society and nature. The absence of a groomed father messes everything. Single female parents can seek help from a trusted well-groomed father figure to regularly relate with the children to bridge the gap.
If men are designated to emulate the Father’s heart of God the Father, then using the Biblical mentorship is key. Words of people fall short of nurturing. Returning masculinity to this reality is what will give the boy child identity and the intrinsic purpose of his existence. Nurture them to grow in being confident and independent, accepting responsibility, participating in home chores, nurturing healthy relationships, eating well and personal hygiene, respecting women and exercising effectively; short of this, they are half to effectively fulfill the purpose for which they were born. During this long holiday, join the campaign to redeem the boy-child by being the present friend, to listen, model and guide. Be the ever-present mode!
