By Joseline Byakatonda
Healthy relationships are medicine not only to the body because of the visible signs that will show on our faces, smiling and merry as one sails through life but a stream of unquenched strength to a human soul and mind too. To test this hypothesis, observe leaders and bosses in bad relationships from family/home and social and see how they frustrate everyone around and under them, which is expected; no one gives what they don’t have and it stems from inside out.
“Bennie, what’s inside counts the most. Anybody can dress up on the outside and be dead inside.” Ben Carson’s mother always told the Renowned World-over Surgeon who gives children a second chance to life, when he worried about clothing, as detailed in his biography, ‘Gifted Hands.’ If you want to die alive, ignore relationships. You will walk your way to the grave instead of us carrying you there! In the current era, relationships are more political than real, even without realizing it.
Somehow, it’s the norm of the times; relationships are initiated and built on material gain-give-and-take notion, than mutual understanding. In this era where career has become the gauge of success, establishing and finding good relationships is like trampling on Ostrich eggs on the street of Kampala! However, if good relationships are important, let’s delve into the actual art of nurturing healthy relationships that bring joy, fulfillment, growth and lasting connection into our lives. Being the cornerstone of every human’s well-being, their nurturing and growth is essential and hence worth investing in. How then can one build good friendships?
Authenticity and Connection
Be authentic to yourself and the group. This simply means, if posho isn’t your delicacy, don’t pretend or else your friends may surprise you with a posho meal only to hurt you with their pure intention. Being authentic to yourself is knowing who you are and what defines your perimeters. Showing your true self invites genuine connections and also provides a safe space for others to be authentic, not forgetting that fake is always short-lived and others get to know anyway. You will trust a salesperson who gives the right quality descriptions to their products than one who sugar coats because soon or later if an earring is not pure gold, it will fade and so will a bleached shirt.
Harness understanding at the heart of every communication
At the heart of every healthy relationship is effective communication. Oftentimes, effective communication is defined as the ability to express oneself with clarity for the other person to get the actual message. Nonetheless, you can pass on your message with clarity but short of understanding. Understanding follows the rule: right timing. The right timing for the communicator and the communicate. Relationships, be at work, home, school, and social networks involve compromises, though should not be of a kind that subdues your value system.
Cultivating active listening skills is vital; the ability to understand others without interruption and sheer judgement. Healthy communication being a two-way road is built on respect, clarity and compassion; creating a safe forum for open and honest dialogue, though the trick is, one has to start. Biting nails, being on devices, being absent-minded and other disruptive mannerisms stifle relationships. A child will not enjoy talking to a parent who is always in a rush; neither will a parent feel respected talking to a teen absorbed in TikTok.
Celebrate growth and milestones
Now! In a world of sheer competition, it’s easy not to rejoice at others’ success and growth as you are preoccupied with climbing the ladder to the next promotion post and proving a point of efficiency, nurturing jealousy, and hard humour. Lasting relationships thrive on shared growth and recognizing each other’s success. A genuine friend will be happy when you make a milestone. Be that friend who supports the other’s dreams, aspirations and personal growth and you will not run short of shoulders to lean on as they lean on you too. After all, what are relationships for if not growing us to the best version of aspirations?
Build trust Having this point at the bottom of all the others is for emphasis. It’s the foundation of all relationships and that’s: trust. Being reliable, transparent, and respectful, setting boundaries.
Everything takes time. It only takes time for the truth to be revealed, it takes time for a baby to grow, it takes time to harvest, and so do relationships. Growing lasting relationships between parent and child is a lifetime journey for every stage as the children move high on the growth curve.
If the would-be natural relationship (parent-child) is cultivated and demands being intentional, other relationships may require a little more. Talking about parent-child, a lot of ways we relate is learnt from those who nurtured us: environment, guardians, or parents. Pass these on to the next generation, they surely will catch them. Starting with a few steps mentioned above will nurture fulfillment and you will die at a good old age.
