By Dr. Miriam Laker-Oketta
Last month, my friend’s sibling ended his life. By all conventional definitions, he was successful and appeared to have it all. He came from a prominent family, had a flourishing career and was a top expert in his field. He was a great mentor and had built thriving marketing departments for well-respected businesses from scratch. He was a Christian, eloquent, and in the prime of his life, just a few days shy of his fortieth birthday.
Everyone wondered why someone who seemed to have everything would choose to end his life. The very next day, another gentleman jumped off a hotel in Naguru. A few weeks later, a mother of five, who was a manager at one of the prestigious banks, locked herself in her room after her children had gone to school and took her life. While this was not the first time we had heard about suicide, the fact that it happened to people in our country, connected to individuals or businesses we know well, and seemingly doing well in life, left us asking questions and engulfed in anxiety.
The Unseen Burden of Success
Success often comes with a hidden cost. The societal pressure to maintain an image of perfection can be overwhelming. For many, the expectations to excel in every facet of life—professionally, personally, and socially—can create a relentless and unendurable burden. This pressure can lead to feelings of isolation, depression and anxiety, even among those who seem to be at the pinnacle of success. According to the World Health Organization, nearly 800,000 people die by suicide every year, and countless more attempt it.
The stigma surrounding mental health issues often prevents people from seeking help. In cultures where success and strength are highly valued, admitting to mental health struggles can feel like an admission of failure. This stigma is particularly strong in professional environments, where vulnerability is often seen as a weakness.
Breaking the Silence
It’s crucial to break the silence around mental health issues. Open conversations about mental health can reduce the stigma and encourage those suffering in silence to seek help. Employers, educators and community leaders need to foster environments where mental well-being is prioritized and where individuals feel safe to express their struggles without the risk of being labelled mad, incompetent, or unstable. A friend once submitted her psychologist’s recommendation for a month of sick leave for depression and some of her colleagues laughed at her for suffering from “rich people’s diseases,” imagine.
Steps that can be taken to support mental health in our communities and workplaces:
1. Promote mental health awareness. Regular workshops and seminars on mental health can educate people about the signs and symptoms of mental health issues. Awareness campaigns can also provide information on where to seek help.
2. Model mental health safe working practices, for instance, flexible work schedules when possible, encourage staff to take leave and minimise work outside regular working hours. As a manager, do not praise over work.
3. Create support networks. Establishing support groups within workplaces and communities can provide safe spaces for individuals to share their experiences and receive support from others who understand their struggles.
4. Encourage open dialogue. Leaders should set the tone by openly discussing mental health issues and encouraging others to do the same. This can help to normalize conversations about mental health and reduce the associated stigma.
5. Provide access to professional help. Ensure that individuals have access to mental health professionals, either through workplace programs or community services. Offering confidential counseling services can make it easier for individuals to seek help.
The magic
Empathy and understanding play crucial roles in supporting those struggling with mental health issues. It’s important to recognize that success, as defined by societal standards, doesn’t immunize individuals from mental health challenges. Listening without judgment and offering support can make a significant difference.
For example, consider the story of the mother of five who took her life. She likely faced immense pressure, balancing her demanding job and family responsibilities. Despite appearing successful, she might have felt isolated and overwhelmed.
Empathy from her colleagues, friends, and family could have given her the support she needed. We should also model respect for people struggling. When my friend’s sibling passed on, there were people who did not condole with the family because according to them, a person who had died by suicide did not deserve to be mourned. Doesn’t this worsen the already terrible situation?
Redefining success
As we reflect on the tragic losses of those who seemed to have it all, we must commit to creating a culture that prioritizes mental health. By fostering open conversations, providing support networks, and ensuring access to professional help; we can help prevent future tragedies. Also, we must redefine success.
True success should encompass not only professional achievements, whether or not one is married and has children, it is not limited to a being in a certain age bracket but also mental and emotional well-being. By valuing and prioritizing mental health, we can create environments where individuals can thrive in all aspects of their lives. This starts with you!
